


Death Is Not Defeat

by SnowieDragon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterlife, Canon Compliant, Happy Ending, Marauders, Multi, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowieDragon/pseuds/SnowieDragon
Summary: Sometimes it takes a lifetime to finally admit what one's heart desires. And sometimes, it takes four friends, one special boy, and an afterlife.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Death Is Not Defeat

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks go to one special person, especially for putting up with my shit. Thank you for encouraging me to write [moon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinna_moon/profile)
> 
> *afterlife guitar solo*

“ _Avada kedavra!_ ”

Harry was the last thing Sirius looked at. ‘ _He’ll be okay, he is going to kill that motherfucker, save the world. He is an amazing young man, so much like James, yet so much like Lily. Goodbye._ ’

*

‘ _Where the hell am I?!_ ’

“Padfoot!” The voice was so familiar, yet Sirius couldn’t place it. And where did it come from? Everything seemed so foggy. Where was he? What was happening?

‘ _Merlin, my head hurts,_ ’ he thought as he placed his hands on his head. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what had happened. “Oh no!” He yelled as he remembered the Ministry incident. “Harry!”

“It’s okay Sirius, he is with Remus now. He’ll be okay, he is strong. Now come on, you have to get on your feet, come.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry Pads,” came a female voice from not so far away.

But where were they coming from? Sirius still couldn’t see anything but fog.

“Evans?!” He grimaced as the familiarity finally hit him. “James! James and Lily! What the fuck! Where are you? I can’t- I can’t see anything!”

“Padfoot, do you remember what exactly happened down there?” James asked him. As if he was stupid. Of course he remembered, he had just yelled their son’s name, right before they came! Jeez. He had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes, his head still hurt.

“Padfoot, to you, what happened to you?!” James urged, almost as if he could hear Sirius’s thoughts.

“Well. I- Bellatrix hit me with the killing curse. Oh. _Oh_. So, this is what... the afterlife?”

It almost felt like he opened his eyes again. The fog becoming clearer and his head stopped hurting. Huh. So he just had to realize he is dead. Great. Now he did roll his eyes.

The miserable feeling dissipated the moment he saw his best friend. After fifteen years, he was finally able to see them.

“It wasn’t me.” He blurted out.

“What wasn’t?” Asked James.

“Darling.” Lily looked at James pointedly. “Of course it wasn’t you Sirius, we know that. We never for a second thought otherwise,” she explained to him.

“Yeah, yeah thanks Merlin. I’m so glad to see you.” He jumped at his best friend almost knocking him over. Big smiles grew on the faces of all three. He hugged James for a long moment when Lily cleared her throat. “What about me here?”

“Yeah, sorry Lils of course.” Sirius laughed as he let go of his best friend and hugged the redhead. “I’ve missed you so much, I was thinking about you every day. Not only in Azkaban. Those were tough times-“

“Don’t think about it anymore,” Lily interrupted him. “There is no Azkaban here, and we all know the truth darling.” Lily interrupted him.

“Yeah, you’re right. So. What exactly is this place and what can we do here?” He asked eagerly as he let himself be led by his friends, not sad about his death anymore, but unable to stop thinking about Harry, and Remus. They led him to a room in which they could see how the two still living were doing.

*

“Noooo!” Harry cried as Remus held him tight. But Harry’s emotions were stronger than the werewolf’s and his thin body allowed him to slip from the grip and run towards the bitch that killed his godfather. Another member of his family taken away from him too soon. As if his life wasn’t miserable enough.

Meanwhile, Remus fully realized what had just happened. Not only did they take the only family that Harry had left from him, but they also took another of his best friends. Lily, James and now Sirius. Pettigrew had been dead before, then he learnt he wasn’t really, but his actions, he was dead to Remus anyway. He couldn’t ever forgive something like that. He had always believed in Sirius’s innocence, not for a moment had he truly believed Sirius was capable of betraying them, yet with Pettigrew, it was instant. He was dead to him the moment he learnt the truth. But now, now Sirius was gone too, and the only Marauder left was him. He had to do whatever was in him to stop Voldemort, for them. For Sirius.

~

“Harry, may I speak to you privately, please?” Remus asked Harry exactly one year after Sirius’s death.

“Sure, what’s going on?”

“I have to tell you something. You see, it’s a bit hard to talk about. But I need to get it off my chest.” Harry looked at Remus worriedly. “You know that me, Sirius, your dad and Peter, we were Marauders, best friends for life. I often think or James and Sirius. I also loved your mother, she was amazing person and we had spent a lot of time together. But one of them was always far more than a friend for me. I was never brave enough to tell him. I do still love him, and it breaks my heart everyday Harry.”

“But what about Tonks?” Harry interrupted the man.

Remus half huffed half laughed. “Yes, I love her too, not as much as I did him, but I love her. I can’t really be alone Harry, thinking about what could have been. I need someone, need to feel loved. The feel of a pack. And I give her some love back, I do. But Merlin.”

“I miss Sirius too, you know. I only got to know him for a short time, but it always felt right, like I knew him for years. And he gave me so much love.”

“How did you know it was Sirius, Harry?” Remus asked, puzzled.

“It was obvious, Remus. Well I haven’t realized it until you told me. I thought it was just the way with you, best friends since 11, you hadn’t seen him for 12 years and then you got him back. But I can see that now. I don’t blame you for loving Tonks. She is great and you deserve being loved as much as she does. Don’t worry. Also.” Harry paused for a moment, thinking. “Why haven’t you told Sirius about your feelings?”

“Thanks.” Remus ruffled Harry’s hair. “And, well. To be honest, I always felt like he had feelings more for you father than for me. Your dad, James, he always loved Lily. Since he first saw her probably. But Sirius and James they were inseparable, always together, always doing something. They both liked me, I know that. We were best friends afterall. But it just felt like – I think he liked your dad more.”

“So. One thing I want to ask now. I get that you probably don’t really care about the gender, or whatever. But what about Sirius and dad? It’s not like Sirius had a chance with him anyway since he loved mom.”

“Hah, yeah. Sirius is– _was_ –gay. We all knew he wasn’t keeping it secret, but your dad was straight, so no. Sirius hadn’t had a chance with him.”

“Yeah that’s what I thought. It’s too late now but Remus… I think that Sirius liked you. I think they were probably just very similar with dad?”

“Yes, they were like twins.” Remus laughed.

“See? You should’ve tried. I’m sorry Remus. It sucks.”

The boy hugged Remus tightly. Remus felt his eyes water.

“You know, cub, that I’m always here for you right? I love you.”

“I know Remus. I love you too. Thanks for telling me, you know. I really appreciate it.” He paused for a moment. “Actually, how did you find out you like both, men and women?”

“Hmm.” Remus looked at him, wondering. “I find both genders attractive, and I felt love for woman before I fell in love with Sirius. Also, I love a woman now. And even if my love for Sirius wasn’t reciprocated, it was very strong. Is there someone you like, Harry? I thought you and Ginny had something going on?”

“Yeah, yeah we are dating. And I love her, I just. I often think about someone else too. But I can’t be with him anyway. It’s too complicated. I don’t want to be attracted to him, yet I am.”

“We don’t choose who we fall in love with, Harry. And sometimes we don’t get our happy endings. Don’t push on things, cub, but don’t let your chances slip away for fear, as I did.” Remus hugged the boy again and placed a gentle kiss on the top if his raven hair. Harry had only Remus left to remind him of his true family, and he was scared to lose him as well. He didn’t want to let go of the man, but he had to. He was always happy to see him again.

~

Harry wasn’t even that devastated when he found Remus dead after the battle. He felt numb, too used to it now. Almost everyone that he loved had died, and why? Because of him? Because he was the chosen one? Fuck that! Fuck this life. He felt so empty.

He didn’t register the tears rolling down his cheeks. But he registered the arms of his two best friends wrap around him. He let go of every wall he had built and broke down.

*

“Ah, my head! Merlin, what is this sodding place?”

Remus felt like he woke up from the worst hangover, not that he had much experience with it. After his mind had cleared a bit, he remembered what had happened. ‘ _So, I died? Ugh. I hope Harry is okay. I know he won, he had to, I’m sure he killed him. Merlin is this the afterlife? Why is it so foggy._ ’ And right after he finished that thought, the fog cleared away, and with it the headache.

“I always knew you’re too smart to be stuck here as long as Padfoot was.” James beamed at him. Sirius rolled his eyes but the smile on his face stayed unchanged. “Hi Moony.” He said so softly Remus’s heart clenched.

“Hi guys!” He jumped to his feet. The two jumped right at him, knocking him over. They laughed and Remus never felt happier in his life, or now rather what, afterlife? Yeah, afterlife. Lily just stood there watching them. Some things just never change. She laughed too.

“Lily, dear. You’re beautiful as ever.” Remus finally got out of their grip and was able to hug her. He was so happy, happiest he was in years. He noticed someone else standing further away, though. Had the person been there before? Lily noticed that Remus was looking somewhere, and she turned.

“Tonks?” She asked. Remus looked at his wife. Yeah, they have died together. He nodded.

“Let’s go check on her, shall we?” James asked. So they did.

They explained everything to her, as well as to Remus, even though he figured a lot out himself. Tonks then just smiled at them, her hand raising to Remus’s face, and she gently stroked his cheek. She smiled at him kindly, kissed him where she touched him just a moment ago, then turn away and left.

Remus knew she understood, she’d figured it out. And he quietly whispered his thanks to her.

Even though all souls were here, that didn’t mean they all lived in one place. He knew he could see her anytime he wanted to, as well as anyone else. But right now, he was just happy to be with his best friends.

He turned around to see Sirius, a small smirk forming on his face. His eyes pierced the shorter man, as he walked closer, and closer. Sirius didn’t panic though, he grabbed his arm when he was close enough, and pulled him closer.

“Finally.” Sirius said. His eyes, which were burning, locked with Remus’ and Remus suddenly understood that Harry had been right. He let go of every fear and crashed their lips together. It felt like his whole world just exploded and rebuild itself, every piece getting exactly where it was supposed to be, finally making sense. Sirius deepened the kiss.

Lily and James looked at each other, James taking her hand, whispering: “Finally.” and kissed his love as well.

*

Harry decided to use the resurrection stone once more, desperately needing his family, because his life was just a complete mess. He blamed himself for all the deaths, he didn’t feel happy with Ginny anymore, and Hermione and Ron were building their own life together, which Harry wasn’t mad about, he just felt alone.

When he saw his parents along with his godfather, who was sitting between Remus’s legs, he knew. Remus just winked at him. They talked for a bit, but Harry knew he couldn’t dwell on this. He said his goodbyes and put the stone safely away, with promise to himself to only use it to help others get through the pain. He knew that once his life here was done, he’d meet them again, and this time, would never lose them again.


End file.
